Merry Christmas

The blog would like to wish every reader a Merry Christmas, and to indulge into the Christmas period. However, knowing 'the lads' mentality, come Christmas Day deep down they will be secretly thinking about that attractive away fixture at Victory on the Cow Paddle.

The Blog has predicted what certain players may get for Christmas:-

John Miller - a labrador
Billy Fox, Matt Robinson - 0845 769 7555 (Alcoholic Anonymous)
D.Metheringham - X-Factor The Best Bits (covering hit single - Tell me why I hate Thursdays)
Ben Heavers - Football Bloopers Volume 1,2 & 3
Jim Pearson - Stress Relief Yoga Lessons
Simon Sewell - OS Map
Matt Abbott - Textbook: Hedge Pruning for Beginners
Gary Burr - Dennis Wise & Vinny Jones Autobiography
Ben Jackson - a Punchbag
Gio - Scissors, Straighteners and Razor
Andy Creasey - 1.8 turbo Diesel Engine
J.Metheringham - Driving Myself Crazy: Misadventures of a Novice Golfer
Phil Mason - Novelty Undergarments
Ben Garrick - access to free music download providers: Eshare, Edonkey, Napster
Steve Asher - New socks for the Kit-Bag (who thieved these at Welton?)
Adam Weston - Ralgex (provides support for the final phase of the warm-up)

Meg FC Forum

As displayed on the top right of the page, you will see a discussion forum - for fans to interact with our star players. Players are welcome to voice their opinions, and any dicussion is open to all members.

Poor spellings will be punished, and dealt with by J.Metheringham of the 'Fines Committee'.

Ben in tights?

Men in tights. Never the best look, especially on footballers who have to explain their tight fetish to the boys in the dressing room.

There’s not a crueller place than a football dressing room, you thought the play ground was bad, imagine having to tell your team mates your wearing Granny's tights.

As Metheringham prepare to face Stag's on the Star & Garter pitch, our pampered stars have a big decision ahead of them.

This story evolved as Meg FC's Ben Garrick cherised a pair of green tights at training recently. When asked about his fetish for ladieswear Ben responded, after taking a comfort break from stacking the new Spice Girls single "many people think my idol is John Barnes, but really it is my great granny Margaret Rosemary Poppy Garrick, she was a great believer in a good pair of sturdy tights. I have always been a family man, and it is my honour to carry on the family tradition."

We had to leave the interview early as a passer by, shouted through the doors of the High Street store, 'download it free on the internet'. A livid Garrick chased the customer out of the store....

Vote - Meg's Finest Goal.

Can he catch?

This week Ben Heavers, Metheringham FC number 1 decided to let us into a little secret, that on Wednesday afternoons he secretly visits a hypnotist, but what on earth for?

Heavers explained "Last week when I visited the hypnosist against my fear of catching, all manner of pre-conceptions entered my head; I was convinced they would make me believe I was a goat in a Paul McKenna-style way." At this point the reporter had to take a short break after bursting into fits of laughter.

(Interview resumed)

"When I arrived at the Star and Garter Open Clinic, I was immediately put at ease; a man called Butch talked me through exactly what was going to happen so I let him work his magic on me. The duke-box music began and Butch began his talk – and, in case you're wondering, there was no swinging clock.

"You can catch Ben, you can" cried Butch.

"I can't, remember the games against Welton, Stags, Golden Eagle, Duke William, Horncastle, Woodhall, Dunston" Heavers replied. - The list continued with another 45 teams, but as time was pressing we are unable to print the rest - incidentally all games Heavers dropped a clanger.

Butch produced an unusual sweaty brow, but is convinced his hypnosis has cured Ben Heavers weekly problem, of dropping a size 5 football.

So the real question has to be, has it worked????

Worryingly when leaving, Heavers moo-ed, oinked, woofed, grunted whilst paying the darling receptionist.

Abbott - Lost & Found

A man, described as having severe left foot hedge syndrome has been found safe and well after going missing on the Cowpaddle this Sunday.
Matt Abbott was last seen playing centre half, against Travellers Rest, late on Sunday morning.

Lincolnshire Police said he had been on a day trip from 75 minutes to 90 minutes in a place called upfront, police described him as being very vulnerable.

Officers said the 23-year-old was found in Morrison's isle 16, with the dairy products 24 hours later. Abbott a quivering wreck stated ''why me, why me, why me'', when asked how he managed to end up in this bizarre place called up-front.

Abbott has been reunited with his family.

BROWN HAS NO WORRIES

The former Ilkeston Town, and Lincoln Utd midfielder was in a relaxed mood for Sunday's Kelly Read encounter against Bassingham as Metheringham go in search of another morale-boosting victory.

Brown told the website "Listen, I've got the best job in the world, there is a saying 'who motivates the motivator?', after recent speculation that Brown wasn't happy, with his summer transfer kitty.

"I tried to negotiate with the board, and committee and look at angles of improving my squad, like any good manager. There was certainly no walkout or rift during the summer months" said Brown. Brown was delighted he had the backing of the board."The secretary and the chairman have been fantastic with me."

"Since I returned to the club in 1995, the committee have backed me and I'm extremely thankful for that."During that time, the managers also helped me from John Haresign to Dave Atkin. The board have now handed me a three-year contract, despite knowing we missed out on a top four position last season. But they have obviously seen enough to say to me, 'we've confidence in you to take this club forward, listen I am not getting carried away with the good start to this season, as I wasn't when we hadn't won until Christmas last season. I am in for the long haul, no question."

Mr. Brown wouldn't digress into what system he would play on Sunday, but the way the fridge magnets were displayed in the kitchen, it appears a Christmas Tree formation is favourable. With absentees Burr and D.Metheringham, fighting for the position of the tree-pot.

Creasey Fighting Fit

Metheringham utility man Andy Creasey is in no doubt as to what he wants from pre-season.
"You want a good level of fitness," Creasey told the MACLA newsletter, after taking a short break from a photo-shoot, promoting his new found physique.

"You have to build slowly, very slowly infact but by the first game of season you need to make sure your team has played enough friendlies, done enough weights and put in sufficient fitness work.

"It is also important that the methods you have employed through pre-season continue during the campaign."

Metheringham do not have a particularly large squad and Creasey's pre-season programme is geared in part towards ensuring that he is in the right shape to maximise his chances of avoiding injury when the season starts.

"Injury prevention work is crucial," said Creasey. "That forms a large part of my training, especially early in the pre-season. When your hamstrings are in pristine condition like my one, it is important that you stretch reguarly, and not over-indulge in sprint work and hard stamina - but to focus on regular water and tea breaks."

This brief interview just indicated the dedication of 21 year old, Creasey. It is no surprise that Creasey has remained ever present since the opening game, and is a careful role model for the ever increasing youth setup at Metheringham F.C.

Burr to Dynamo Riley's?

After a week of turmoil regarding the Daniel Metheringham situation the storm clouds are still surrounding the Star and Garter as midfielder Gary Burr is now creating the headlines.

Metheringham have insisted that they have not received any official bids for anchorman Gary Burr. Transfer speculation was fuelled after Burr has been absent for one and a quarter years after signing for Metheringham.

"We are aware that a number of clubs are interested" Metheringham chairman John Woods said. However, chairman John Woods told the club's official website: "We have had no official bid from any club regarding Gary unfortunately, sadly we can't seem to get rid either."
"We are aware that a certain club are interested, but said they cannot afford the celebrity lifestyle Burr leads"
Midfielder Burr 24, has made 45 league appearances for the club which he supported as a schoolboy before joining after a spell at Timberland.

Burr hasn't helped himself to a move, as many are put off by his constant bickering and rash challenges on the field. Burr commented in an interview recently stating "I am a kind considerate well mannered human being on the pitch, people don't appreciate what I am doing for the team and taking the emphasis off them" Burr incidentally fell out with the reporter shortly afterwards, saying you don't report for the Echo now, and 2 footed him to the ground before protesting his innocence.

Asher denies Metheringham 'No Show'

Metheringham 1st team have denied suggestions that ermm centre half Daniel Metheringham failed to turn up for training on Thursday night. The 27-year-old Branston produce operator was reported to have missed the chance of training, but Metheringham F.C have moved quickly to play down the speculation.

"We wish to make it absolutely clear Meggy was not absent from training and turned up as scheduled," said a statement on the Metheringham website.
Meggy has repeatedly said he would leave to join a sport where he and his partner could both participate in.
He has been linked with gardening, tennis or draughts.

Meggy scored 3 goals in the Premier League last season.

Speaking in July, Meggy said: "If the opportunity does come to go participate in alternatives sports, that will always be my dream. However, I can state I was at training mentally but not in person, and people need to appreciate that a little more"

Contrary to rumours that Meggy also feigned an illness and proudly admitted this on a popular internet website are still being challenged by the management committee.

Welcome

I would like to welcome everyone to the Metheringham F.C blogspot. I have dedicated a spare slot in my busy schedule to produce a feature for my favourite football team Metheringham F.C. This website will include tales, trivia, memory lane, photgraph's and much more...

My love for Metheringham F.C has spiralled to a level, that I had to share it with the world. Them lads on a Sunday morning make my life and I owe it all to them.