Can he catch?

This week Ben Heavers, Metheringham FC number 1 decided to let us into a little secret, that on Wednesday afternoons he secretly visits a hypnotist, but what on earth for?

Heavers explained "Last week when I visited the hypnosist against my fear of catching, all manner of pre-conceptions entered my head; I was convinced they would make me believe I was a goat in a Paul McKenna-style way." At this point the reporter had to take a short break after bursting into fits of laughter.

(Interview resumed)

"When I arrived at the Star and Garter Open Clinic, I was immediately put at ease; a man called Butch talked me through exactly what was going to happen so I let him work his magic on me. The duke-box music began and Butch began his talk – and, in case you're wondering, there was no swinging clock.

"You can catch Ben, you can" cried Butch.

"I can't, remember the games against Welton, Stags, Golden Eagle, Duke William, Horncastle, Woodhall, Dunston" Heavers replied. - The list continued with another 45 teams, but as time was pressing we are unable to print the rest - incidentally all games Heavers dropped a clanger.

Butch produced an unusual sweaty brow, but is convinced his hypnosis has cured Ben Heavers weekly problem, of dropping a size 5 football.

So the real question has to be, has it worked????

Worryingly when leaving, Heavers moo-ed, oinked, woofed, grunted whilst paying the darling receptionist.

Abbott - Lost & Found

A man, described as having severe left foot hedge syndrome has been found safe and well after going missing on the Cowpaddle this Sunday.
Matt Abbott was last seen playing centre half, against Travellers Rest, late on Sunday morning.

Lincolnshire Police said he had been on a day trip from 75 minutes to 90 minutes in a place called upfront, police described him as being very vulnerable.

Officers said the 23-year-old was found in Morrison's isle 16, with the dairy products 24 hours later. Abbott a quivering wreck stated ''why me, why me, why me'', when asked how he managed to end up in this bizarre place called up-front.

Abbott has been reunited with his family.

BROWN HAS NO WORRIES

The former Ilkeston Town, and Lincoln Utd midfielder was in a relaxed mood for Sunday's Kelly Read encounter against Bassingham as Metheringham go in search of another morale-boosting victory.

Brown told the website "Listen, I've got the best job in the world, there is a saying 'who motivates the motivator?', after recent speculation that Brown wasn't happy, with his summer transfer kitty.

"I tried to negotiate with the board, and committee and look at angles of improving my squad, like any good manager. There was certainly no walkout or rift during the summer months" said Brown. Brown was delighted he had the backing of the board."The secretary and the chairman have been fantastic with me."

"Since I returned to the club in 1995, the committee have backed me and I'm extremely thankful for that."During that time, the managers also helped me from John Haresign to Dave Atkin. The board have now handed me a three-year contract, despite knowing we missed out on a top four position last season. But they have obviously seen enough to say to me, 'we've confidence in you to take this club forward, listen I am not getting carried away with the good start to this season, as I wasn't when we hadn't won until Christmas last season. I am in for the long haul, no question."

Mr. Brown wouldn't digress into what system he would play on Sunday, but the way the fridge magnets were displayed in the kitchen, it appears a Christmas Tree formation is favourable. With absentees Burr and D.Metheringham, fighting for the position of the tree-pot.

Creasey Fighting Fit

Metheringham utility man Andy Creasey is in no doubt as to what he wants from pre-season.
"You want a good level of fitness," Creasey told the MACLA newsletter, after taking a short break from a photo-shoot, promoting his new found physique.

"You have to build slowly, very slowly infact but by the first game of season you need to make sure your team has played enough friendlies, done enough weights and put in sufficient fitness work.

"It is also important that the methods you have employed through pre-season continue during the campaign."

Metheringham do not have a particularly large squad and Creasey's pre-season programme is geared in part towards ensuring that he is in the right shape to maximise his chances of avoiding injury when the season starts.

"Injury prevention work is crucial," said Creasey. "That forms a large part of my training, especially early in the pre-season. When your hamstrings are in pristine condition like my one, it is important that you stretch reguarly, and not over-indulge in sprint work and hard stamina - but to focus on regular water and tea breaks."

This brief interview just indicated the dedication of 21 year old, Creasey. It is no surprise that Creasey has remained ever present since the opening game, and is a careful role model for the ever increasing youth setup at Metheringham F.C.